One of those days.

On a May Sunday morning last year, my Dad and I decided to go for a walk in the Wicklow Mountains. We brought a little picnic and ate it on the edge of a forest and Dad lost his phone as we jumped over a stream but it was relocated. We hiked up mountain biking tracks through the forest, climbed along the sides of waterfalls, and pushed against the wind as we tried to walk on the exposed but very beautiful mountain tops.

It is firmly placed in my mind as one of my favourite days I've spent in my whole life.

At home we go for walks down the fields all the time, down the lane, through the field, along by the drain and into the forestry, then up the hill by the edge of another field and into the little wood called 'The Cover'. It's a lovey walk but the question upon your return is always 'What did you see?' and the days or nights when you reply that it was one of those rare but fabulous occasions when you have spotted a deer are the absolute best.

This day in the mountains my Dad and I came upon a deer lying in a little grassy spot on the edge of the forest. She was lying alone, content and placid and in order to spy on her and keep her undisturbed we crawled through quite a distance of reeds and swampy grass on our tummies but it was one of the most magical sights I've seen. She was in her home, in her natural environment, unaware of unnatural human disturbance and just doing what she does.

We watched her for quite a while and possibly due to my endless photo taking she finally realised there was a presence close by and stood up and eventually took a few incredibly graceful jumps giving us full view of her gorgeous, fluffy, white rump, and disappeared into the trees.

We saw lots of other deer grazing on the mountain sides that day too but none as close or unaware as our first girl. It was one of those occasions when you suddenly realise how incredibly lucky you've been to have had this experience as so many people would never dream of going in search of such magic or indeed have the opportunity to do so. Watching nature as it was intended to be*

Been there, done that, do it again.

A million movie channels with great films we've never seen before and which one do we stop on and get incredibly excited about? Obviously the one we've seen a million times already. In this case, it's 'Love Actually', that fabulous, funny, heart-warming movie that can never been watched too often. They change that song 'Love is all around me' to 'Christmas is all around me', apparently creating just as wonderful a hit as the original, a prime example of how history repeats itself. Obviously second time round a song is released it's never exactly the same, or the second or third or fourth time you watch a movie it never arouses quite the same reactions as the surprise factor has been removed. The little things that first appealed to you though still remain...the catchy chorus or touching lyrics or in a film, the humour or thrill or soppiness. Connections are made by the memories of how we were emotionally affected by something and if they're positive emotions, of course it only makes sense to grasp any opportunity to recreate them. This applys not only to movies or songs but with life experiences too. People can be amazingly good at not dwelling in the past and living for now but yet when the now suddenly presents opportunities to relive the past, if the memory of happy emotions are evoked then it's only natural to reject the 'been there, done that' atttitude and instead go back there and do it again.
There's always the risk that the second or third or tenth time won't be as good as the first but then there's also the good chance that they will. I love 'Love Actually'. Overkill also exists but I think a little wariness prevents disasters. No point in regrets and 'I wish's.
If I had a chance to go back to Budapest now, it wouldn't be the same but it still would have potential to be just as wonderful. Yeah..definitely be happy in the moment and you can't live your life dwelling on the past but there's nothing wrong with beautiful memories...never say never!*

Grand Gestures: Wonderful acts of love or really no more than just, grand?

Christmas is all about presents. Full stop. In the true meaning of Christmas, remembering how God gave us his son as a present in an incredibly grand gesture to show how much he loves us, millions of people also exchange presents on Christmas day. What amuses me is how so many people don't count themselves as religious and would admit to only being engrossed by the festivities and commercialism of the Christmas season, and yet, they feel the need to try to imitate what God did in giving that hugely extravagant present.

Apparently people have very little money these days. Unemployment, price hikes etc etc mean that people don't have the capacity anymore to be overly generous and flamboyant with Christmas gifts. And yet, the apparent need is there for some people to ignore any sensibility and still adorn their loved ones with presents that, to my mind, are quite unnecessary and far too extravagant. Is it because they feel that it's customary?That it's expected? That if they spend less they'll look mean? That their partner will think they love them less because they didn't spend a huge amount of money on their gift? Or, perhaps it's simply the genuine desire to give to their dearest the very best because that's what they believe they deserve.

I often draw the conclusion that my own opinions and attitudes are very unique. I see situations happen and raise my eyebrows in disbelief and am puzzled by actions or reactions of people and then realise that infact to anyone else, everything is quite normal. I'm not impressed by money or extravagance and while I can see an attraction in these things, it still amazes me that some people are willing to accept gifts that cost small fortunes and even in some cases expect this. Personally, I'm moved to tears when somebody gives me a pretty pebble they found on a beach or when people take the time to do something for me or if someone cares enough to put special effort into creating something for me. It's the little things that carry meaning that, for me, are the grandest gestures. A 200 euro necklace will be beautiful and yes, delightful to receive, but unnecessary..even more thought and love could be put into a necklace which will be just as beautiful and cost only 20 euro.

I am not in any way putting down those who have hard-earned money and choose to spend it on those they love, of course that's a flattering and lovely thing. I just wonder if at times people get a little too caught up in thinking that love is measured in money.

At the end of the day though, no matter how GRAND or grand the gift itself is, it's the sentiment behind it that measures the love that goes with it. Christmas is all about presents, but presents are all about love. Love comes in massive packages, but I think it's important to remember that it also comes in teency ones, that cost nothing*

Life really is Beautiful!

Back in Ireland and it's dull, misty, mucky and lashing rain but there's something strangely comforting in listening to the sound of rain on the roof. And, the dark, dreary light outside only makes the glow of the candles inside all the more warm. It's amazing the ways the world has of reminding us that despite hints of gloominess, 'life really is Beautiful!'*

Change

In the natural progression of the world, change is inevitible. Nothing stays the same, the entirity of everything is transient in nature whether natual or manmade aspects. And with change comes renewal. Everybody likes new things: new shoes, new haircuts and so change should be a completely positive thing- or at least provide the capactiy for finding some positivity within it. I don't like change though. If things are good now, then change just gets in the way and threatens to create a new situation that may not be as good. Of course, there's always the chance that it will be better but sometimes it seems like too big a risk to bother chancing- not that there's a choice really.
 Maybe it's not the change that's so daunting and so disliked at times, but rather the necessary adaptation that goes hand in hand with it. The mind and outlook need to move in time with the change for a natural and happy adaptation, otherwise the change can loose all capability of providing a positive and just become an obstacle, a huge rock, right slap-bang in the middle of the happily flowing stream that causes ripples and waves and hurts if it's crashed into.
Maybe it all comes down to acceptance. Thick creams in designer jars aren't going to stop the visible effects of the aging process and magically make the lines around your eyes disappear. They came due to change, the natural process that turns perfectly smooth and pure skined faces into lined and experienced maps, recording the progression of change through time.
People come and go, feelings change so that being in a certain place at a certain time with certain people could be the most perfect thing in the world at one stage and at another, completely the wrong situation. And when that situation is no longer right, it must be remedied. It's unfortunate that change in feelings is an individual thing. Not yet to my knowledge has a method been discovered to syncronise peoples emotions and feelings so that everyone welcomes the change together. It's unfortunate, but then maybe when natural outlooks do alter concurrently, it makes that change all the more beautiful.
Life brings uncontrollable changes all the time and the moral of the story really is that at times, we have very little power to stop them or alter their course. That brings us back to accceptance and the adoptation of a strong spirit in adapting to and embracing any goodness the change brings and if the change seems awful and painful and bleak, then finding every ounce of wonderfulness from the past situations and nudging it forward.
 The most comforting thought in relation to this unpreventable change is that every new moment has the potential to be fabulous. I think that's pretty exciting*