Let it go..or just sing if you prefer.

"I'll never let go Jack", whispered Rose, as her teeth chattered as she clung to a shard of the fated Titanic   and poor Jack froze to death. And then ironically, a film called 'Frozen' brings out a song called 'Let it go' as its most iconic song. I in fact, happen to adore this song. I first check there's no one else home and then turn it on and sing my heart out, arms waving and music too loud to notice how painfully out of tune I am. It's releasing and empowering and uplifting, just as its lyrics describe.
It's funny though because I'm much more of a Rose than an Elsa and letting go or giving up are not things I do easily. In fact, there has to be blatant evidence in my face before I'll finally give in and accept that things are not going the way I'd hoped and stop trying. It's a hope thing. And I think for me, a belief that what's meant to be will find a way. I, in my determination, explore all avenues to make sure there isn't way I could have missed. It can be a great trait and a ridiculous one too. There are times when the whole world can see I'm flogging a dead horse as it were, and yet I have to still be convinced myself. It does mean I am determined though and I will never let any opportunity be wasted or miss out on experiencing something because I'm too scared. I have to be thankful for that.
When, however, it does come to the time when I have to finally give up because I know there's no other option, I'm glad I have the 'Let it go' song to help me on my way. It won't actually help the letting go process but it's fabulous for releasing a bit of tension and getting the happy endorphins flowing. God bless Disney for bringing the feel good factor alive!*

You think you know...

It's a funny thing how you don't know where life is going to bring you. I went from Dublin to Limerick to study when I should have been settling into my career for the rest of my life. Then from Limerick, I moved to Cork to study which I know was completely the right move but I also tried to live there which wasn't. My life has now unexpectedly moved me back to Dublin for work; back to an area and a workplace I knew and loved and I wonder at it all. It seems far more logical that I should have my home and life in Cork when that is where I'm studying but all my efforts to secure reliable, relevant work there were unsuccessful. I then decided to give in and follow the work home and suddenly a job is landed in my lap. I'm a firm believer that what's meant to be is what will be and at this present time I'm wondering at the unexpected twist my path has taken and what else will follow that needs to fall into place..*

The cure for crying

I wasn't having a very good day yesterday. In fact, I was in one of those saddened states that takes a massive hug, a good talking to or falling asleep to come out of it. I got through the day in work but when I left, I broke, and drove through Dublin city centre and down the motorway wallowing in my sadness and trying to watch the road through my veil of tears. I'd just passed Naas on the motorway. Traffic was heavy but we were moving nicely. I was in the middle lane, radio off and my mind in a knot when suddenly two cars in ahead of me in the righthand fast lane, smoke starts billowing and spontaneously, a car spins 90 degrees and drives straight into the middle lane, causing the car it came towards to veer into the left hand lane where thankfully no one was coming. We all slammed on the breaks. The out of control car came to a stop in the middle lane and then cool as you like, reversed into the fast lane again, gave a little wave and off he went. And off we went. It all happened in a matter of seconds but was the closest to an horrific crash that I've ever experienced and the strangest thing was that everything carried on as normal two seconds later.
I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a second and you can be sure my tears did too. I've never before had such a dramatic reality check to break my train of thought.No one was hurt but potentially someone could have died and quickly what was upsetting me became completely irrelevant. It's just the most bizarre thing how life places little things in front of you suddenly and unexpectedly that immediately change things. A few times lately, really dramatically amazing things have happened that have stopped me in my tracks.There's definitely someone somewhere looking out for me.*

The way a mind works

I was in college the other day working on a blog design. A girl in my class sitting beside me leaned over and asked me "What do you do when you find the one?". I immediately answered "Marry him", and then due to her laughter realised she was actually referring to selecting colour schemes! It was confirmation to me that indeed I do belong in a fairytale story brought to life by Disney. Funny the way my little head is wired!
In the real world however, outside my head, there's a lot to be said for going with your instincts and doing things because you feel they're the right things to do or the time is right. I think the gut feeling is a pretty reliable one to be aware of. I'm guilty of ignoring it myself on occasion and slightly regretting it afterwards. It's the fear of being wrong though or of taking a risk that sometimes means chances are missed or opportunities lost. I try to operate a 'no regrets policy' in my life-it helps to keep moving forward rather than being sad about what could have been. Of course there are always things that take us by surprise and perhaps steal time from us and in these situations, the 'if only' and 'I should have' and 'I wish I had' thoughts creep in and solidify as regrets. Keeping an awareness of what's going on though and how your instincts are responding, can only be a positive and useful thing though in avoiding the 'if onlys'.
Subsequently, in the correct context, I'd still give the same advice..if you've found the one, keep them!*

All the love in the world

“Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.
"After all this time?"
"Always," said Snape.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

The world suddenly becomes obsessed with hearts and noticing love at this time of the year. I have a heart on my foot forever. And love is here forever, even if it sometimes goes unnoticed*

Need a good investment choice?

So basically I need to win the lotto or be invested in.
It's not that I'm unhappy, but I'm kinda frozen. My life needs a push.
I had a permanent well paid job back in the day and now I could be traveling the world and paying a mortgage on my own home and buying lovely presents for people. Instead, I'm living at home with my parents with only a small bedroom piled full of my possessions, as my own space. I tried to live in Cork but there's no relevant work there for me and so, in order to be able to work in order to progress my career, I'm home with Mama and Papa and Nana and the two dogs. I appreciate so much having somewhere to live that's warm with food and a washing machine and a nice shower but there's no space for me. Therefore, I have a problem.
I absolutely do not regret giving up my job and swapping money for a happy, creative life. I love learning and I love using my artistic talents and I have met the most wonderful people and become a confident and happy person because of it all. I'm a high achiever and I know where I want to be professionally but it's this in-between bit that's hard to get on track. I know the type of people I need to be surrounded by, I know the environments I have to place myself in and I know the space I need for myself in order to be creative and mentally happy. Hence, I need a studio space and a really nice house and a view and a setting close to civilization so I can have people around me and fun in the evenings when the urge hits me. If I had all that I could do my studies, work when I need to and be an artist the rest of the time. In that way I can become a Visual Arts specialist for primary teaching and teach all the student teachers and advise all the existing teachers and become the successful artist I'm destined to be. I'm a worthwhile investment. When I make it big, everyone with a few bob will be regretting not helping me climb out of the gutter and onto the path of success.
I'll keep trying to win the lotto every now and then when I've gotten enough work to feel I can afford it but if anyone would like to invest in me, that'd be just fab.*

Keep going but know when to move on.

There’s that struggle that happens when you want something. An internal tussle goes on between the part of you that firmly believes that if you want something you mustn’t give up until you get it, no matter what stands in your way, and the part that says what you want is unachievable and you must recognise when you need to give up and set your mind on something that is actually attainable. More simply put, a time comes when you begin to realise that you’re fighting a losing battle and it’s better just to move on, but, the “what if?” part of you keeps saying “just one more try..”. It’s a toughie; the realistic and sensible versus the romantic and hopeful.

Of course, the struggle is different depending on what it is that you want. There are some things in life we can control, like being in the right geographical location. You’d never become an expert snowboarder if you live by the beach in sunny Spain. And for some goals, there are obvious steps we can follow to bring us closer, like gaining a qualification in order to be able to be employed in a particular job. But then there are some things that are beyond our control. We can absolutely influence other people, but unless you are an expert manipulator (which I have no desire to become), at the end of the day it’s what they want and they feel that will result in their actions. These actions may be those that tell you “it’s never going to happen” and “it’s time to give up”. In that case, really and truly, there’s nothing more you can do except be sensible, but, continue to hope and firmly stick to the conviction that what’s for you won’t pass you by.  Sometimes our little human heads and hearts want things that would never be right for us anyway and when we look back we can see just how well things worked out despite what we thought at the time.

In my opinion the best thing to always keep in mind is a ‘no regrets’ policy. In this way you’ll make the most of every second, strive for what you want and move on when it no longer becomes good for you. Take control of what you can and leave the rest to its own devices. That’ll make the struggle less annoying and the results a little sweeter and perhaps a little surprising-in a good way. Life is for living- move forward and make sure you can smile when you look back.*

Do you really mean that?

What? No! That hairstyle makes your ears look tiny!

I was listening to someone speaking yesterday. They were saying how, in times past, words meant so much more. If someone made a promise or said they'd do something, then it would be done- without question. The person who said it meant it and the person who heard it believed it. Sadly this is no longer the case. People say things all the time because it's the simplest response or because it's what they think the listener wants to hear. Spoken words often go no deeper that the sound of which they make. They are spoken to be heard in the fleeting moment and forgotten, not to be imprinted in someone's mind or heart.
As a Romanticist (this being the very opposite to a Realist), I take words at face value and believe them all the time. This is because I love words and I love humans and because I have a never quenching desire to seek the best in people and believe they have kindness and love and interest as their sole motivation. It's an incredibly unrealistic view of the world sadly however, and results in me being frequently disappointed and let down by humanity. It upsets me that the further I go in life, the more I want to hold onto my Romantic view and yet, the more skeptical I have become of people and what they say to me. For so many, words are far too easily spoken. Perhaps some day there will be a reversion and words will have the value they were originally endowed with again; or perhaps I will learn to be less trusting and lose faith in human conviction. I hope the latter never happens though. There's not much hope left if one gives up on human goodness*

Tweet

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Nothing to do with what I have to say. I just liked it!!*

I wonder if you gave up contacting people for a couple of months who would actually bother to make contact with you? As in, if you disappeared from social media, sent no social texts, emails, snapchats etc etc. and simply sneaked into the darkness... I wonder would it be a good way to see who are the people in your life that actually want you there? I also wonder though if it might just make you really sad. Relationships are two way things after all. And the other thing is, life is short so there's no point in wasting it alone, though the hope is that anyone who cares would make all the moves to include you in their lives anyway. After all, we attract people into our lives who we like for some reason or another and if there was no mutual liking, then the relationship couldn't even be called as such. I think I appreciate love and human company too much to abstain from making first moves. It's an interesting thought though....*

What's in a man's head?

My nurse Mammy has me in bed resting 'for the good of my health'. I need to sleep but I don't want to so I'm thinking instead.
I'm wondering if men think as much as women. As in, I wonder if men's brains whirr as much as women's do or if they do whirr at the same rate then do they just think of way less complicated things? As a woman, I can tie myself up in knots and the more I tell myself not to think about something the more I constantly ask: why? what if? how? when? should I? will he? and consider: maybe, someday, I wish, I shouldn't have. It's completely ridiculous. I should be doing something constructive like reading or watching an interesting documentary or sketching or even knitting but I don't want to. I really enjoy thinking and wondering and figuring out and considering and using my brain and so I do just that. Sure it's fine. My subsequent need though, to share my thoughts with others in order to seek clarification can make me come across as a bit of a crazy I'd imagine. Ironically, I overthink like mad in order to gain a simple life. I'm not sure they go hand in hand! But sure, it's just the way I am.
Men though. I wonder if they just think about uncomplicated stuff like what's happening right now in their lives at this very second in time. I wonder if they ever read into things or if everything comes at face value. It's not that I think men are simple, uncomplicated, incapable beings but it's just I think women are terribly complicated and unnecessarily take routes around life that could so much more easily have been followed if they weren't accompanied by ridiculous over thinking. Or perhaps I shouldn't generalise. Maybe it's just me that has this infliction. No wonder my mother sent me to bed to rest! I'll keep the following quote close to my heart however:

“Poirot," I said. "I have been thinking."
"An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.”
― Agatha Christie, Peril at End House *